Our human minds want to try to compartmentalize things in order to understand them. To feel safe. To feel secure. To feel some sense of control in this unpredictable dance called life.
As we encounter others along the way, we want to be able to predict them too and so, we reduce them to the sum of our perceived insight.
It begins when we’re children and people reduce us to their ideas of us. The shy one. The creative one. The outspoken one. The bad one. The good one. The big one. The small one. The people around us often reduce us to a single idea and this idea can become the cage we live inside of for a lifetime, if we accept it as truth. The truth, of course, is so much more complex. We are all of it, and more. Sometimes we are none of it, and more. Either way, we are so much more.
As we get older we begin to reduce the ones around us. We label, define and confine them to limited ideas that have been sculpted largely by the smallest glimpse into their soul and life. We see what they are willing to show us, and even that we see through a filter of our own wounding, stories and beliefs. We reduce everyone, including ourselves, without even realizing it - and that is dangerous. It’s harmful. It creates the foundation for shame. It puts people on pedestals that are impossible to live up to or it confines them into corners they cannot possibly rise out of.
We want everything to be neat and pretty and we want it to stay that way. But that is not the nature of life. The very nature of life is cyclical. It is contrast. It is complexity. It is birth and it is destruction. The flowers that blossom will also rot, decompose and return to the earth, but we don’t take pictures of the rotting. We don’t post that on social media.
We forget that we can be more than one thing - simultaneously, and that everyone around us can be too. We lose touch with what is real. We forget.
The truth is that we do not need to be healed, to be healers. We don’t need to have it all figured out to be able to help others. Shame and shining can co-exist. We can be vulnerable and strong. Fear and love can be experienced a hundred times in a single breath and it’s all part of the magnificent and heartbreaking spectrum of being human.
One day, while we sat watching my son play, my mother leaned over and whispered to me, “You were such a GOOD child. You always listened. You were so well behaved.” In contrast to my son - my wholehearted, wild, free, unapologetic son who literally climbs the walls, I was such a “good girl” in her eyes.
I wanted to scream and I finally understood why. I was a highly sensitive and highly SUPPRESSED child. I was doing what I thought I needed to do to be worthy of love, acceptance and belonging. Three things my son feels assured of. I was a girl losing touch with her soul, day after day after day. I was a girl living for the approval of someone outside of myself. I was a girl afraid to be her true self in case her true self was too much. I was also a girl who was put on her first diet in grade 2. Who threw out her lunch every day at school because she was afraid people would see her eating and tell her she shouldn’t eat because she was fat. I was a little girl who felt ashamed and alone.
I ate and ate and ate and, like the hungry caterpillar, I got bigger and bigger and bigger. I didn’t know it, but my body was aching to give me this very message: “You are SO MUCH MORE than that.”
I was small and I got bigger and bigger until I could finally SEE myself and surrender to the invitation and sacred opportunity to be ALL OF ME. At which point the pieces of my life could finally begin to shatter, things could finally fall apart because - they had to. I had to shatter into pieces so that I could look down and see what I was made of. So that I could notice which pieces weren’t even mine and decide whether or not they belonged anymore. So that I could let go of who I had become and step into the freedom to be all of who I truly was. Piece by piece, I could begin to reclaim my wholeness.
If we live within the confines of our old ideas we exist as a fragment of our soul selves and all of life works to remind us that we are so much more than that. Our bodies act in service to our souls and they work tirelessly to get our attention in whatever way they need to. They love us infinitely and unconditionally as they remind us to love ourselves too. To stop reducing ourselves. To let go of reducing others and to see that there is so, so much more that has been and always will be waiting for us - right here.
If any of this resonates with you I invite you to join me for a Free 5 Day Challenge that begins on September 9th. An invitation to deepen into the truth of who you are and vibrationally align with your soul self.
All of life is aching for you to come home to yourself. Everything around you is your soul seeking to be remembered. Longing to be remembered. Whispering lovingly. Holding you in the light of love and compassion. Always there.
Sometimes you might catch yourself going through the motions. Living out of alignment. Living based on an old idea of who you are. Making choices that don't fit with the truest you. Deferring your dreams and your happiness to the future. Giving them prerequisites. Thinking you aren't enough right now. Right here. Just as you are. But, you are.
You are so enough, that enough can't even contain you.
All My Love,